The Future Could be Changing in Miami

The Miami Dolphins owner unceremoniously announced the team is planning to tank amid reports he’s going to give away two first round picks for John Harbaugh. What you been smoking Boss Ross?

Why the hell would Harbaugh want to join a team that’s set to tank in order to position themselves to draft a QB. They would then have to send the draft picks to Baltimore, so no QB for you. This can’t be true, can it? Throwing ridiculous sums of money at Jim Harbaugh to lure him away from Michigan, sorta makes sense.

This is what’s happened in Miami since Stephen Ross took over the Titanic ship named the Miami Dolphins, he steers it into every iceberg floating in the Atlantic Ocean. Even propping up Chris Grier seems defeatist. “I have no clue who can steer this ship, so I’ll pull the guy out of the engine room.”

Nothing against Grier, he’s much better choice than selecting a failure like Mike Tannenbaum. Yo Ross, didn’t the butt-fumble give you a clue of Tannenbaum’s QB draft history. Maybe that’s why Miami never brought in a serious challenger for Ryan Tannehill. Tannenbaum was afraid of being laughed at for selecting another butt-fumbler.

Mike Tannenbaum wanted a coach that was arrogant enough to think he could make it work with Ryan Tannehill. Yes, the same Tannehill with a career QBR of 49.1 against the league-wide average of 55.1 since 2012. Mike made the awesome decision to extend Tannehill’s contract for some ridiculous millions thinking, he at least hadn’t butt-fumbled yet...

Isn’t Tannenbaum the same guy that paid Ndamukong Suh $100 million to play defensive tackle and then cut him while still owing him $30 million. Oh yeah, so it’s no wonder Miami has no cap space, no quarterback and a bunch of old injured free agents. But the Boss still thinks he can lure in some Harbaugh because they’re Michigan guys right.

Are there icebergs in Lake Michigan or do they all just talk like Uppers, “how ‘bout a beer, ahey…”

Perhaps Jim Harbaugh didn’t laugh loud enough when Boss Ross’ flew in on that big old jet airliner to grovel while he already had a coach. Tony Sparano (RIP) was destined to coach really well that season after his owner and GM hack Jeff Ireland flew off to hire his replacement. The conversation must have gone something like, “hey Jim, how ‘bout a beer, ahey…”

The "Chris Grier Show" has had an interesting start, he’s supposed to covet at least one guy that can make him look stupid when he gets turned down for a place like Cincinnati. At least the current choices Miami cannot stumble over failing to land, now that’s refreshing. Grier either has super top-secret inside information on one of these guys or they are so bad no other team was interested in signing them.

Perhaps Grier knew Brian Flores, Eric Bieniemy, Dennis Allen, Kris Richard and Darren Rizzi would remain available throughout his ponderings so he could make a thorough investigation. There were eight head coaching jobs open and only one besides the Dolphins is still unsettled, Cincinnati.

Even the whisperer who has never whispered, Ex-Dolphin coach Adam Gase, landed a gig in New York. He thought the Miami press was unreasonable, welcome to the Big Apple Adam.

Six head coaches have been hired and all five Miami candidates are still available. It seems odd Miami’s choices did not receive more consideration and leads to speculation about their validity. Usually Miami is scraping the bottom of the bucket after the latest Jeff Fisher has flown off on the big old jet airliner for greener pastures somewhere in quarterback heaven.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, especially if they’re big tom gobblers and you’re super hungry. Wait… A big tom gobbler is probably meaner than hell and would be pecking at your hand like it’s a massive corn kernel. 

Wait… Where is this going?

Oh, Darren Rizzi, he’s the bird-in-hand…

Grier may be shrewder than we think, he’s got a guy he can fall back on so he’s not jumping the gun and hiring the quarterback’s coach from Texas Tech. He doesn’t have a whisperee so he doesn’t need a whisperer and hence he can make a clearer decision. He keeps peering into that bush rooting out best damn tom gobbler of the whole freaking rafter.

No, it’s not laughter, it’s rafter… That’s what a group of turkey’s is called (I had to look it up!).

So here all Dolphin fans sit in purgatory, waiting for something to change, paying for the sins of our undefeated past. What is it, five generations (yeah now I’m on biblical crap), five generations is how long it takes for a family to absolve the sins of their fathers. Good Catholic boys know this…

Let’s see our last winning coach was Dave Wannstedt, so not counting interim coaches that’s Satan, Cameron, Sparano, Philbin and Gase! Holy spumoni and eggnog batman we finally paid for our sins! It’s time Miami, it’s time… Chris Grier is going to do the right thing!

Darren Rizzi is the guy I called out in the previous article. After reading up on everything, I’m going to change my mind. The new coach of the Miami Dolphins will be…

Kris Richard

Miami Dolphins Must Step Back to Leap Forward

From a swamp the Miami Dolphins came and to a swamp they have returned. While South Florida has expanded wildly over the past 20 years, the Dolphins have regressed. Interestingly enough, Chris Grier has seen it all in his 19 years with the team. Somehow the longest tenured Dolphin, who rode the ebbing tide, will now reside at the top of the heap.

And it is a heap… 31st in offense, 29th in defense, scored the 26th most points on offense and gave up the 27th most on defense. The Dolphins were outgained by 1619 yards and outscored by 114 points. Miami’s 31 sacks were fourth fewest in the league, while allowing 52, tied for fifth most. The quarterback was ranked dead last by Pro Football Focus.

It is amazing this team was able to scrape out 7 wins while being so statistically horrendous. The axe fell on Adam Gase and Mike Tannenbaum, but Gase realistically had little to work with as a fool’s game was playing out behind the scenes. The win now philosophy was doomed without a true star at quarterback and a penchant for paying older free agents that plagued the team with injuries.

The Miami Dolphins are a complete mess and any coach with winning aspirations is certain to choke on this franchise. Not only is Miami once again in a middling draft position, they have very little cap space to work with and enough dead money to fill Davy Jones’ locker.

The Dolphins would have to cut, Ryan Tannehill, Robert Quinn, Cameron Wake, Ja’Wuan James, Andre Branch and rescind the fifth-year option for receiver DeVante Parker, in order to amass $60 million in cap space. Even with these drastic cuts the Dolphins will carry close to $30 million in dead money from Tannehill and Ndomukong Suh’s terrible contracts.

Not a good look for a coach to step into, no money, no quarterback and no early draft picks to acquire one. While division rivals are loaded with cap space and have either the GOAT at QB, or a shiny new QB heading into his second year. The win now philosophy that only ever produced mediocrity has left the Miami Dolphins in dire straights that may take years to overcome.

Wherever Adam Gase is at, he’s probably grinning from ear to ear, having a Miami Miracle of his own being pushed off the sinking ship just before the final plunge. Sometimes a team must sink before it can swim, and Miami is destined to be underwater for the next two or three years trying to amend the mistakes Mike Tannenbaum inflicted.

The only players likely to see the renaissance are Larimy Tunsil, Minkah Fitzpatrick and Xavien Howard. That means Miami should trade players like Reshad Jones, TJ MacDonald, Kenny Stills, Albert Wilson, Kiko Alonzo. Even Kenyan Drake should be included because by the time Miami is relevant, he will be an older running back. The cuts and trades will leave the cupboard bare, but only then can Miami find a way out of the perpetual purgatory of mediocrity.

The six prominent choices making a splash in the press are, Chiefs offensive coordinator - Eric Bieniemy. Bears defensive coordinator - Vic Fangio, Patriots linebacker’s coach - Brian Flores, Steelers’ offensive line coach - Mike Munchak, Cowboys’ passing game coordinator/DBs - Kris Richard, and the Dolphins own special team’s coordinator and assistant head coach - Darren Rizzi.

Of the above names, only Mike Munchak has prior head coaching experience in the NFL and in three seasons with the Tennessee Titans, he never produced a winning team. The problem with this coaching search is, no candidate with any hopes of winning for three years should take this job.

The Miami Dolphins have been gutted and more cuts are needed to add draft picks and cap space. The Dolphins need to find a true stud at quarterback before any coach is going to win with any consistency. The truth is, the Miami Dolphins are at least a three-year project away from winning anything. Coaches who lose for three seasons, are fired like the last five in Miami.

There is one candidate in this bunch that will approach this job without any illusions. Darren Rizzi knows exactly what he is getting into. Rizzi knows what must happen, knows the expectations of Chris Grier and Stephen Ross and knows the players currently on the roster. Rizzi can quickly look at these players and decide which will be peaking in three years and which will have passed their prime.

Rizzi is not the shiny new coordinator of the moment looking to blaze into head coaching with last-to-first aspirations. It’s not to say the next Dolphin coach shouldn’t have expectations, but the shiny coordinators are much like Adam Gase, they want win now and it’s just not going to happen in Miami.

The Dolphins need a coach willing to purge and rebuild. They need a coach who knows this roster. When it’s open season for trading and cutting, there is no worry about being the jerk who sent some player to Cleveland. This coach gets a clean slate without the expectation of winning now. It’s the perfect place for a first time coach with the patience to rebuild.

Miami also needs a homer coach that really likes South Florida, one who understands the pitfalls of places like South Beach. That knowledge is critical in the player selection process because no matter how talented, troubled players always find the dark side of Miami. Rizzi knows this, he knows this town. Newcomers may have heard tales, but when presented with super talent, they make the critical mistake of believing they can change and control people.

For these reasons, Darren Rizzi is the best candidate for the Miami Dolphins. He must tell the ownership he cannot be judged by his record for at least three seasons. After his third season, then the clock can begin ticking because make no mistake about it, the Miami Dolphins will take at least three years to overcome the win-now philosophy that has gutted this team.

Sorry Dolphin fans, sometimes it takes a step backwards to make a leap forward…

Miami Dolphins Exploit Jets Poor Coaching

Tony Sparano’s coaching weakness became obvious when the Dolphins dismantled the Jets on Sunday. His complete inability to adapt to the unexpected was apparent when Miami added a wrinkle to its pressure package. The same lack of adaptability that led to his dismissal as the head coach of the Dolphins, left the Jets offense sputtering and unable to make the corrections needed to right the ship.

The Jets suffer from the same uncreative approach that has become passé in the NFL. Professional football games can no longer be dictated by power offense and brute force defense. The Miami Dolphins showed a corner blitz package for the first time this season, Tony Sparano and the Jets were unable to respond.

It was a brilliant move by the Dolphins to bring something completely different to the table. Jimmy Wilson and Nolan Carroll performed the blitzes to perfection and it was evident Mark Sanchez was unaware of the break down in protection. Sparano on the sideline going over reams of pictures with Sanchez trying to understand, made it easy to see why the Dolphins could not adjust last season with Sparano at the helm.

Football cannot be played in a vacuum, it is a series of adjustments made as the opposition shows his hand. This new perspective as the opponent playing against Sparano, confirmed his inability to adjust. It is what Ricky Williams meant when he said Sparano is a “micro-manager.” Taking a rigid approach to a game plan leads to failure when the plan does not work and there is no room for adjustment. Watching Sparano try to diagnose the Dolphins blitz left the impression there was nothing to fall back on if the original plan did not work.

The entire Jets staff was unprepared for the attacking Dolphins game plan. Mike Westhoff was stunned by an early on-sides kick and assumed Miami had played the one unexpected card they had in the deck, little did Westhoff know, the deck was loaded!

Tim Tebow was added as the personal protector to the punter because he enabled the Jets options like the fake they ran successfully against Miami in the last meeting. There was little consideration taken to the fact Tebow has never truly had to block anyone in his football career. Instead of worrying about what Tebow may do, Miami exploited his inexperience. It was genius coaching from the mind frame of aggression.

Leading 20-0 surely Miami would not try anything fancy against a kicker who had not missed a field goal this season. Again Westhoff, Ryan and Sparano failed to recognize Miami’s aggressive game plan, 20-0 was not enough. Following the game, Westhoff admitted it was the worst game he coached in his 40 years in the NFL. The blocked field goal added to the frustration that may have changed to momentum had the kick been successful.

The Jets had the misconception that talking a good game and making veiled threats to injure another team’s playmakers is enough to make opponents play timid. Ryan and his crew are like the bully gang in the schoolyard, most of what they do is talk. When the real fighting starts it's the heart of the dog that wins out over empty words. The great Gods of football seem to bounce the ball in the right direction for the underdog Dolphins, so maybe there is something to Reggie Bush's backhanded statement about karma, it comes around...

Ryan, Sparano and Westhoff have built a reputation of being tough guys, playing a hard hitting brand of football, but being smart is not part of the equation. Punch a team in the mouth, take out the rookie QB on the second drive and watch them crumble. Most times it will work, but not when a team, coming off a bye week has doubled the preparation all the way to the backup QB. Matt Moore never missed a beat.

Miami heard about the “hot sauce” and the “head hunters,” but it was all talk. A violent straight arm early by Reggie Bush showed which heads should be on a swivel. All the way through to Richey Incognito waving bye-bye to a bench that was wishing it was as empty as the stadium. The biggest game in a season nearly half over and the Jets were no-shows, their actions did not back their words.

Rex Ryan never told his players talk was cheap, Tony Sparano had no answers for the corner blitz and Mike Westhoff forgot Tim Tebow is a quarterback not a punt protector. The Dolphins clearly outplayed the Jets, but this was a coaching victory. Joe Philbin, Mike Sherman, Kevin Coyle and Darren Rizzi put together a flawless game plan and the players executed it to perfection.

No need for the Dolphins to talk about the win, Mike Westhoff said it best, “that's as bad as it’s been in my entire career.” Westhoff was speaking for the entire Jets coaching staff who know they were demoralized by a superior staff and a team that would not be denied.

Hello NFL, welcome the Miami Dolphins to the playoff hunt!