In retrospect - the 8-8 Dolphin season stood on the fifty yard-line like a big fat elephant squawking at the NFL with uplifted trunk trumpeting a dirge march. The unscrupulous media can never let a sleeping dog lie or allow the dead to rest in peace. Incongruently, Richie Incognito's head butting with poor Young Johnny Martin followed the Dolphins until alas… We welcome in the new NFL.
Flowing in locker room vernacular like Dom Perignon at a rookie hazing bash, the “N” word between black men is as common as “Dude” in Bill and Ted’s excellent adventure.
Whoa, Miami is on the forefront of changing generations of black speak - excellent dude - totally!
Oh, yes that too is on you Young Johnny, “the N-word falls under that category,” said St. Louis Rams coach Jeff Fisher, a member of the competition committee. “The officials will be empowered to call a foul if there are racial slurs or statements regarding another player’s sexual orientation, or even bating and insulting with verbal abuse. It is going to be a very significant point of emphasis."
Mom always said, “If you don’t have something nice to say, STFU!” Sorry mom, the “F” word has been outlawed!
Sexual orientation should not be an issue. After all Young Johnny Martin’s skirt got ‘blowed’ up exposing his orientation and he got traded to the fair city where gaiety marches down the street drinking bubbly concoctions. This cup of political incorrectness runith over and that “runith” has a prominent lisp…
We may as well face it, football is a marked man, or a marked “it”, or a disoriented man, or a non – “N” man, or a white receiver playing an “N” position, all this damn orientation is making me dizzy!
What the hell, just get it over with and let the girls in.
If one naked butt is admirable in the locker room, all naked butts should be admirable in the locker room. What kind of world do we live in where the sexual fixation of one orientation is acceptable, and the other is forbidden?
Think about it, the inclination to play tennis is a lot more inviting when you get to shower with Maria Sharapova! Yes, that’s soooo gay, but in the happy sort of way!
Hey don’t get all ‘blowed’ up at me! Shooting the messenger with vitriol in the comments section will suffice…
Did I say shower with Maria Sharapova!!! Dang this juxtaposed world got a little brighter with that thought.
Wait am I allowed to think about that? Now look what I’ve gone and done, got my little white-pea-brain thinking about water flowing all over Maria Sharapova and me with a creamy bottle of soap gel! STOP!!!!!! Oh no I can’t stop it! Forgive me while I step away and rub one, wait STOP!!!!!!!
After the cigarette - My platitudes have returned to a lower arousal state and I wonder, if a guy can run like a cheetah, is he automatically a cheata’? I mean, people don’t get ‘blowed’ up with all that musculature without the wonders of modern chemistry.
How could Mike Tyson be all cutup ready to strike like a black mamba and talk like Young Johnny Martin’s little sister?
Sorry I’m not reverting to Richie, I said speak like Johnny Martin’s little sister, not sleep with Johnny’s little sister, if only my tweats came out the way I intended…
Am I supposed to believe Richie normally cycles between ‘roid rage and mister nice guy because he’s bipolar and not a raging ‘roider? The secrets Young Johnny could tell, best we trade him to the land of misfit toys before big boy’s toys get taken away for turning a blind-eye to HGH, et el…
Richie, Richie… Are you out there? Your cred sux bro, you could go on ESPN Insider NFL Monday Thru Thursday Excluding Tuesday Edition and still the couch potatoes would yawn. Richie, you rubbed a golf club on a women’s crotch, bro…
It doesn’t matter if the shorts were smaller than Johnny’s Speedo! Bra, no, not what was containing her bosom, it’s Johnny’s new Cali word for bro. Passé bra, that’s what you are Richie, a bro in a bra world…
Does anyone have a bloody spot of tea? It’s like what came first the rugby pitch or the soccer field? Sports seem to run parallel to history, the Romans had those huge arenas where gladiators bashed each other’s heads in when the Legions were conquering the world.
After the conquest, the sport of gladiating became a brutal reminder of how slaves were forced into the ring and slaughtered. Such an untidy business, the whole thumbs’ up - thumbs’ down thing.
At least they all wore skirts and took baths rubbing butts together, no locker room antics to worry about. Those Roman’s had it going on, until they didn’t… Forget about Maria Sharapova Richie, you’re invisible to her! Ha! I couldn't resist!
Billions in revenue based on brutality are certainly at odds with 280 pounds of force moving at 4.5 speed. Heads and knees are in particular jeopardy but saying, “That’s why you’re getting paid millions of dollars,” is pertinent only if you’re not a lawyer.
Bleeding heart jurors don’t care is players willfully consent to pain-for-gain. Of course the defendant is incapable of making choices after 10,000 head bashes and 2,000 dive blocks. Hell Johnny only needed 500 head slams to know his Stanford brain needed to get the hell out before he started rubbing golf clubs on girl's crotches…
The obvious question must be, “At what point is playing consensual?” When the bleeding hearts can overrule a professional contract with a player’s signature, it won’t be long before 12 year-old kids are standing in the courtroom with their hands out?
I wonder if the 12 disciples signed a contract before Pontius Pilate got a hold of them. No wait, that’s when Romans were Romans…
Jesus, it’s all so politically incorrect we may as well strap on flags and get it over with. The little flags fluttering in the wind branded with Young Johnny’s bullied caricature in Technicolor as the poster-boy for the pansied future of our beloved game.
Butt hey think about it… Maria Sharapova in one of those skimpy tennis outfits with brand new Johnny flags running around tight-end and you getting all reachy-grabby! Oh yeah baby!
No wait, I digress it was the Richie coming out! I forgot, we’re no longer allowed to be men and play a man’s sport. We need to think about orientations and whether girly-men and manly-girls have their own little butt space, Omaha, Omaha…
I’m with you mom, STFU while I’m behind… Butt, Butt…
STFU!!!
