Last year the Jets were on Hard Knocks, and it was very interesting television because Rex Ryan is a very unique personality. When people think of Hard Knocks, they think of the New York Jets because of how enormously popular the show was when Rex Ryan was on.
Now, I want you guys to imagine what it would be like if the Miami Dolphins were on Hard Knocks. Wouldn't it be the most boring show in the world? Tony Sparano and Jeff Ireland are very dull interviewers. I would hate to see an entire series on television where they are the main "stars".
Just imagine how Tony Sparano would be when describing a simple concept like the weight room.
Interviewer: "So this is the Miami Dolphins weight room? Can you tell me some of the workouts that you have your guys do that most people wouldn't normally know about?"
Sparano: "Well, you see... each morning, before practice of course, my guys come in here and they start lifting weights, and they start lifting weights real early in the morning so we can get to work on other things later. Things like drills on the practice field, which are really important and other things like going over the playbook and sitting down and teaching the guys like we were in a classroom, because it is really important to make sure that you teach them everything they need to know so that when they get out there on the field they will know exactly what to do without even thinking about it, because that's what I like to do. I like to make sure that guys do the exact right thing every time, which is really important. I make sure we put a lot of time into everything, because if you keep doing something over and over in practice, then you can keep doing that same thing over and over in the game."
Interviewer: "Um, ok, why don't you show us a workout that one of your players is doing at the moment?"
Sparano: "Here, why don't we go over here and we can look at what Davone Bess is doing."
Interviewer: "But he's only doing squats."
Sparano: "That doesn't really matter when you look at the big picture of things like this. You see, what you're looking to see there when you're looking at him and you're watching him is that he is squatting really low to the ground every time he squats down, because if he doesn't squat real low like that he won't get the full effect of the workout, which makes the workout pointless and we don't do pointless workouts like that."
Interviewer: "Yeah, I think most of our viewers know how to do a squat. Why don't we go over there and talk to your quarterback Chad Henne?"
(walks over to Chad Henne)
Henne: "Hi guys."
Sparano: "Hey Chad, this guy right here who is from the TV show we're going to be on was wondering if he could ask you some questions to put on the TV show that he is with."
Henne: "Sure thing, Tony."
Interviewer: "Well Chad, tell me some of the things you do to prepare for games. I see you're curling some pretty heavy weight there."
Henne: "Well, you know, I like to keep my arms strong. Nothing is more important than, you know, having a strong arm. I mean, I can do these arm curls all day, and I have before. I figure, a strong arm is the most valuable asset, you know? I can bullet that ball, you know, anywhere. I mean, you've seen me right?"
Interviewer: "Sure, Chad, I've seen you."
Sparano: "Yep, we tell Chad to do what he thinks is the best because he sure does have a strong arm, and I really mean that. His arm is probably the strongest arm in the NFL, stronger than any other quarterback in the NFL. He can really throw that thing."
Interviewer: "What about throwing the ball with touch?"
Sparano: "Well, that won't matter you see. Pretty soon he will be able to throw the football so hard that he will throw it right through the defender, and the defender can't do anything if the football goes through him. He could put his hands up to try and stop it, but putting his hands up won't help because the ball would go right through his hands. Then, I can do my fist pumps after we score, like I always did last year because my fist pumps really pump my players up."
Interviewer: "Do you know for sure that you pump your players up?"
Sparano: "Well, why wouldn't it? My fist pumps are always done with a lot of effort. How do you think I lost so much weight last offseason? I was practicing my fist pumps. They take a lot of effort to do, so I just did a lot them."
Interviewer: "Well, Tony, thanks for letting me see your weight room, now if you would.........."
That's all I've got for now. Thanks for stopping by, and feel free to make up your own little Hard Knocks interviews below.
I hope you guys enjoyed today's post.
